I am in the process of changing rooms, and that involves sorting through a mountain of 'stuff' that I have accumulated over the years. I've identified 4.5 metres of books that I no longer need, and already dozens of sacks of papers have gone for recycling - or to the confidential waste shredder.
But in the course of this long sorting process I keep coming across some gems from the past. One document that got me chuckling again was a short piece published in the Finnish journal Terra (Vol 96, No 3, pp. 227-8) late in 1984. It was headed 'Golden Hints to Make Your Congress a Great Success.' When I first saw it all those years ago I immediately knew what meeting it was that had set off these sarcastic thoughts, despite the fact that the author, Matti Seppälä, did not identify the place - I had been there and experienced exactly the same things. It was the four-yearly meeting of the International Geographical Union - a very big event. I have checked with Matti and he doesn't mind me quoting from some of his 'instructions' in this blog. I've added one or two of my own comments on some items.
- "The registration of participants should take place only at one small table in a narrow corridor, and the identification cards for everybody should be in just one small box. Do not use alphabetical order or divide people into groups as this might increase the speed of registration." [I will add that I registered on a very hot Sunday afternoon when the queue was not too great - at other times it must have been impossible] "To register 2000 participants by this method should take no more than 1000 minutes, which is equal to 17 hours. Do not make any estimates like this in advance of the congress."
- "Standing in a queue for a few hours only does good to people, mentally as well as physically. They get to know each other. It is also good for them to get some fresh air and sunshine in the queue before sitting in dark lecture halls later in the congress."
- "The list of participants should only be available to the organizers. Who else could be interested in the other participants? They can be met occasionally by chance in the corridors [or in the queues]. The important thing is, of course, that the organization committee knows the participants."
- "Do not, before the congress starts, tell the authors of abstracts whether they are allowed to present their papers or not. Nor is it necessary to print a list of papers and give it to participants. They should come and take a look at lists pinned on the doors of lecture halls just before the morning and afternoon sessions."
- "Do not make any advance selection of which papers should be presented orally. It is possible to have 52 papers in four hours in one session. It does not matter if there is just four minutes for each presentation and no time for discussion." [Confronted with the realization that he had come all this way to have 240 seconds in the limelight, my then Head of Department asked me to take him off on a visit to some urban renewal districts instead - that must have increased the time available to the other presenters in his session by around 5 seconds each.]
- "When you invite people to a welcome party do not mention in the programme or on the map the exact address of the celebration, otherwise almost all those invited will find the place and this might cause chaos."
And the element I remember as the most memorable (I have slightly reworded Matti's original here to fit my own recollections):
- When the banquet is to take place, keep people waiting outside for an hour beyond the scheduled start time but do not indicate which doors to the building they will need to use. Serve the food on a long table in a narrow room, putting "the empty plates at both ends of the table. This makes the atmosphere very intimate when nobody can move" either way at the middle of the table once they have collected their food, and those who are still waiting outside get a further lesson in patience which does them good.
[Actually, rather than a feeling of intimacy at the middle of the table I detected a sense of panic, and at least one person mentioned the 'Black Hole of Calcutta' as a historical precedent for our predicament.]
This centre-piece of the congress was part of a three stage travelling circus. I had already take part in a very well-organized specialist meeting in Rouen, a short train journey away from the major capital city that was the seat of the actual congress. And I went on afterwards to an oustanding field excursion in Munich and Vienna. The organizers in those other venues clearly needed the advice Matti Seppälä later offered them.
But in the course of this long sorting process I keep coming across some gems from the past. One document that got me chuckling again was a short piece published in the Finnish journal Terra (Vol 96, No 3, pp. 227-8) late in 1984. It was headed 'Golden Hints to Make Your Congress a Great Success.' When I first saw it all those years ago I immediately knew what meeting it was that had set off these sarcastic thoughts, despite the fact that the author, Matti Seppälä, did not identify the place - I had been there and experienced exactly the same things. It was the four-yearly meeting of the International Geographical Union - a very big event. I have checked with Matti and he doesn't mind me quoting from some of his 'instructions' in this blog. I've added one or two of my own comments on some items.
- "The registration of participants should take place only at one small table in a narrow corridor, and the identification cards for everybody should be in just one small box. Do not use alphabetical order or divide people into groups as this might increase the speed of registration." [I will add that I registered on a very hot Sunday afternoon when the queue was not too great - at other times it must have been impossible] "To register 2000 participants by this method should take no more than 1000 minutes, which is equal to 17 hours. Do not make any estimates like this in advance of the congress."
- "Standing in a queue for a few hours only does good to people, mentally as well as physically. They get to know each other. It is also good for them to get some fresh air and sunshine in the queue before sitting in dark lecture halls later in the congress."
- "The list of participants should only be available to the organizers. Who else could be interested in the other participants? They can be met occasionally by chance in the corridors [or in the queues]. The important thing is, of course, that the organization committee knows the participants."
- "Do not, before the congress starts, tell the authors of abstracts whether they are allowed to present their papers or not. Nor is it necessary to print a list of papers and give it to participants. They should come and take a look at lists pinned on the doors of lecture halls just before the morning and afternoon sessions."
- "Do not make any advance selection of which papers should be presented orally. It is possible to have 52 papers in four hours in one session. It does not matter if there is just four minutes for each presentation and no time for discussion." [Confronted with the realization that he had come all this way to have 240 seconds in the limelight, my then Head of Department asked me to take him off on a visit to some urban renewal districts instead - that must have increased the time available to the other presenters in his session by around 5 seconds each.]
- "When you invite people to a welcome party do not mention in the programme or on the map the exact address of the celebration, otherwise almost all those invited will find the place and this might cause chaos."
And the element I remember as the most memorable (I have slightly reworded Matti's original here to fit my own recollections):
- When the banquet is to take place, keep people waiting outside for an hour beyond the scheduled start time but do not indicate which doors to the building they will need to use. Serve the food on a long table in a narrow room, putting "the empty plates at both ends of the table. This makes the atmosphere very intimate when nobody can move" either way at the middle of the table once they have collected their food, and those who are still waiting outside get a further lesson in patience which does them good.
[Actually, rather than a feeling of intimacy at the middle of the table I detected a sense of panic, and at least one person mentioned the 'Black Hole of Calcutta' as a historical precedent for our predicament.]
This centre-piece of the congress was part of a three stage travelling circus. I had already take part in a very well-organized specialist meeting in Rouen, a short train journey away from the major capital city that was the seat of the actual congress. And I went on afterwards to an oustanding field excursion in Munich and Vienna. The organizers in those other venues clearly needed the advice Matti Seppälä later offered them.
No comments:
Post a Comment